The Pornstar and the Feminist

No, that’s not the title of the next Disney movie. It’s the sequel to my wildly unpopular article: “You’re sexy” is not an insult.

A lot of feminists, it appears, hate sex. Or more accurately, they hate the idea that women are able to express their sexuality freely like men get to do. Because sexual liberty is not vital to the fulfillment of the ultimate dream of a free woman.

Here’s a riddle. A man and a woman have sex on screen. Who is being degraded the most? Obviously, the female. Not much of a riddle, is it? Sure, the male is just as naked as the woman, but we all know that the female anatomy is far greater an embarrassment than the male physique. That’s the same reason why a female stripper sparks a debate about objectification, but a male stripper doesn’t.

Why? Well, it’s because women are delicate rape-able creatures, who cannot afford to express themselves sexually. Men are not as rape-able, and therefore, have no fear of whipping out their cocks. Historically, men have viewed women as little more than just objects of sex, and some feminists are concerned that women in push-up bras might perpetuate this view.

It is the same reason why I recommend that African Americans avoid KFC at all costs. No matter how much you personally like fried chicken, if you walk into a KFC hut, you’re perpetuating a horrible racial stereotype. So the correct way to combat this nuisance is for you to sigh, and drag yourself over to a sushi restaurant, willingly or unwillingly. The correct way to beat stereotypes is to deny your real desires, if these desires happen to coincide with an old stereotype.

And that’s the purpose of this asexual splinter group of feminists? To ensure that women discard this silly little notion that women should be allowed to express themselves sexually the same way as men get to. Equal opportunity is so over-rated.

Sorry Samantha Jones! You’re fired!

Naturally, all those floozies who have decided not to give a flying fuck about what the society thinks of their sexual activities are the villainesses in this march of the frigid. They’re a disgrace to feminists everywhere, and their dream of continued sexual repression.

Define “sexualization”?

How many layers of clothing does a woman get to remove before she is banished from the club of feminism? In the Pakistani society, leaving home without a dupatta would be regarded as excessive ‘sexualization’, and could very well lead to a woman being objectified. In European societies, the threshold may be much higher.

So the first task for the Supreme Council of Frigid Feminists would be to demarcate the precise level of the hemline above which a good feminist becomes a bad one. The level where she ceases to remain a woman, and becomes an object of sexual gratification. How much is a woman allowed to sexually express herself before she starts hurting the movement?

You have a right to choose, unless you choose to be a pornstar

Why? Considering, of course, that the woman has not been coerced into this profession and has joined it by her own will, why is she an anti-feminist?

One of the principal arguments you get to hear is not about the sex part, but the portrayal of the woman in disgraceful positions: getting punished, for being “naughty”; tied down and whipped; giving a blow-job to be selected as a cheerleader in an audition; or most disturbingly (and I’m not being sarcastic at this point) rape porn.

But then, the argument is about certain kinds of porn films, and not the porn industry itself. I can confidently say that the Hindi soap operas you and your kids are watching are far more demeaning for women than any lady getting spanked in a porno. Each of these shows airs strong, assertive women as cold-hearted bitches, and meek, submissive women as virtuous. But here again, the argument is for certain kinds of TV-shows, and not all of them.

The porn industry has evolved. In the recent years, most of the films produced depict women in powerful positions, and men as worthless dolts who are unbelievably lucky to have been allowed access to the woman’s you-know-what. A rich cougar eyeballing a young pool-boy, a strong female boss grabbing a startled employee by his crotch…it is men who are increasingly becoming the objects in these films, and the women who are becoming the “doers”.

But don’t let that change your perception, girls! Remember, whenever two people have sex, it is the woman who must feel ashamed and the man who must celebrate the encounter. If you’re a woman comfortable with taking charge of your sexuality, you must hand in your feminism card immediately.

What Men Want

Wanna be a good feminist? Find out what men want you to do. Done? Now, go do the exact opposite of that. Fuck gender freedom and equality, the core tenet of feminism is to antagonize the males. That is far more important than doing what you, as a woman, want to do. If at any point, your personal wishes happen to coincide with the wishes of the male, you must abandon your wishes and do what you think the man would be least thrilled to watch you do.

You wear a cute, red spaghetti-strap dress to a party. Your boyfriend complements your attire. Run home and burn that dress, because the objective is to do everything humanly possible to prevent the man from being appeased (even if it involves you being appeased in the process). Men like watching porn? That settles it…porn is evil.

In spirit of fairness, I’ll always leave the toilet seat up. No, not because I really want to (I usually even lower the lid itself), but because putting the toilet seat down is what the women expect me to do. And if I appease them, then I suppose I’d be complicit in maintaining a matriarchal system. So the masculine thing for me to do, is to base all my decisions on what appeases women the least.

It’s hard for me, as a man, to be a part of the movement that has begun to reinvent itself as a man-haters club. For me, feminism has always been about safeguarding a woman’s right to choose her own path, her own career, her own partner if any.  The only choice I would ever really object to would be a self-destructive one, like refusing to report domestic abuse. Having sex in front of a camera, not self-destructive choice unless you have the archaic perspective that a woman’s nipples are a disgrace to us all.

That’s the kind of non-convoluted, simple, noble objective I shall continue to associate myself with. The one that allows a woman complete autonomy of her sexuality, to express it or hide it as she sees fit.

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