Moderates: Fuck em’

“Moderate” is the most ridiculously overused and irritating term of the 21st century. Often, people swaying unmistakably towards the liberal or conservative side of the median, declare themselves to be “moderates” in a pitiful attempt to appear more rational than others.

In Pakistan, everybody’s a moderate! We have moderates who hate fags; moderates who are Taliban-apologists and Mumtaz Qadri fans; moderates who call you a whore for not wearing a dupatta..

..and then we have the closeted-liberal moderates – the ones who are too coward to embrace the much-sullied, stigmatized party of liberalism, and choose to describe themselves with less controversial terms like “centrist” or “moderate”.

These are the kind of people who would keep repeating the same asinine, insipid shit over and over and over and over again:
“You know, the extreme of everything is bad. So I just choose to take the middle-ground!”

Choke on a musical dildo! I insist!

Of course the extreme of everything is unhealthy (God, what an epiphany!) but unfortunately, there is no objective definition of what counts as “extremism” in this country. In Pakistan, a right-winger usually has to blow up a bunch of schools; issue fatwas against people for…I don’t know…wearing brown socks or whatever; support murderers; call for oppressive laws against the minorities…

..before he finally earns the title of “extremist”.

You know what a liberal has to do here to become an extremist? He has to support Veena Malik’s right to flash a side-boob! I’ve not met a single Pakistani liberal who isn’t mocked as “liberal extremist”, “pseudo-liberal” or “liberal fascist”.

In Pakistan, “liberal extremists” are an imaginary party created to balance out the “religious extremists”, who are the real threat to our nation’s social, economic and political stability. The worst that you can charge the “liberal extremists” with, is snobbery, elitism or perhaps, political inertness.

The middle-ground isn’t always the right answer. If the matter of protecting Ahmadi minorities from discriminatory laws comes up, I wouldn’t want you to say, “Yeah, I support the liberals, but I also think the oppressive mullahs make a good point”. I would want you to take a fucking side and stop pussyfooting around the central pylon. And learn what argumentum ad temperantiam means.

Calling yourself a moderate is “in”, because the title requires no real credentials, and makes you look smart and impervious to highly polarized rhetoric. But you know what I hear when you announce yourself a moderate? I hear a person too stupid and uninformed to take a real stand for anything.

Of course, you don’t have to pick the same side for every matter. I’m a liberal when it comes to LGBT rights, and a conservative when it comes to GMO labelling. But I’m not going to label myself a moderate or a centrist because of the 10-15% of the cases where I side with the conservatives. It is because I lean heavily towards the liberal side of the median, that I find it appropriate to label myself a liberal.

A proud, happy liberal!

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    • Turbo Lover
    • February 18th, 2013

    In a scenario like this, I guess I have to take a side. Most of the time, I side with the liberals. I feed the conservatives little grass.

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